Monday, September 8, 2008

Ohh Yeah...........................


I have nothing to blog about it this week, my wife pretty much monopolized the whole sealing ordeal and everything else along side it. So check her blog if you must know the details.
So...here is one the many lose weight stories triple K has told us, at least I think was her, could've been Jill........uhmm.

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"
He lost 63 pounds that week.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

E! True Park City Stories: Davos The Man Behind The Satellite















Unless you have been living under a rock, Trailer Park, or Kwing’s secluded luxury state, you must know by now that Davos, work with Satellite Technologies. Now, it's not Direct TV or Dish Network Katie, as you thought, please put the down the Baby-R-US catalog and pay attention.
Here is some facts and fictions about Davos and what he does that you probably didn't know.


Davos is nine and three quarters Navajo = Fiction.
Family history will quickly prove that there is no correlation between his great-great-great grand uncle half brother's nephew and a Navajo medicine woman named Katie Thomas Begay.

Davos is Black from the waist down = Fact
Taking in consideration his high percentage impregnating rate and the 11 kids that the government knows about it, Davos has proven once and for all that you can't keep the white men down.

Davos had gastric bypass surgery = Fiction
According to government sealed records, there is no such account of any procedure such as this being ever perform on him. He did however acquire a MAC recently, I know, I know, it has nothing to do with the price of crack on the west side, but it’s my blog, so I can cameo in whatever I want. Such bold move caused quite of bit of uproar among the people that know him. Sadly, it has been sitting on his office collecting dust since he got it.

Davos likes to spend money =Fiction
The Hokey table, the motorcycles, the 3 big screens TVs, the private resort pad, the new truck, AJ penile enlargement surgery, Franco's Bail money, Mom’s new Ferrari, Kristy's cultural sensitivity classes, The European vacations, Evans Bossley hair transplant, The 7 Cats, Cindy's College Tuition, Importation of Coke bottles from Mexico, just to name a few, these are in fact just basic necessities and not impulse purchases as some critics made out to be.

Davos is in Fact Brazilian = Fiction
As most of you know, Davos, is like a father to Franco, but there is really no DNA evidence that Davos was in Brazil around the time Franco was conceived. And even though my mother talks about a great white man going around her village trying to sell satellite services to local Brazilian Lamanites, there no evidence that such man was Davos. Plus it would be sort of morbid if Anjela was my bio sister, yuck, although Chad told me that such congress is perfectly normal in Idaho.

Davos loves AJ more than any of his son-in -laws =Fiction
AJ made it perfectly clear that his relationship with Davos has been a rocky one , it dates back to day when AJ was famous at the Air waves and Davos called in to request a song by Three 6 Mafia, "it's hard out here for a pimp" which AJ bluntly refuse to play, granting the fact that he was DJing at a country station. Since that, things have been very difficult for the two of them. There are rumors that Davos have been training the cats to pee on AJ clothes to force him out, such rumors are untrue.

Well, there is so much more about our beloved Davos, but for now, that's all I'm going to expose. I love Davos, he has done more for me than any other person that have crossed my life path.
I cherish his love and support for me and my fam. Thanks Davos for being the wonderful human being that you are.

Your Son According to the law.


P.S. I want to give special thanks to triple K, for helping me with my weight management. I know how hard was for you to put your prejudice aside and help a brown person, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Monday, August 25, 2008

My Hobbies


So I was talking to my wife this week about the excessive amount of sexual congress that we engage in to it on month to month basis, I mean, we are not AJ and Kristine but we do alright, or so I thought, but that's neither here or there. As I set in bed contemplating my life, the trials of work, the challenges of a male-female relationship and the joys of raising a family, I couldn't help thinking about a lonely quarter laying on the floor, it had a picture of one of our states, so it hit me,
"why can't I collect the state quarters like the old people do? the more I thought about it, the more I got excited about it, I mean, I don't have many hobbies, after Airsoft, Snowboarding, Computer games, Wii Games, Motorcycle Riding, Guns, Shoe Collecting, Credit Card Debt, Dead Fly Collection and AJ's hand me downs, that's about it; So ladies and gentleman's and AJ, is with pleasure that I announce my new hobby, COLLECTING STATE quarters! Now, your probably thinking that I'm crazy, and this is a waste of time, and that I will probably use the quarters on the vending machine to feed my coke addiction, but, people please, have some faith in me, I know I have my ups and downs with the can, but I can make it, I promise, plus I can quit anytime I want to, I don't have a problem ok!
So, I'm up to 32 States now, if you would like help, IM me and ax me which one I have, I will trade quarters with you.
So, as I venture off on this new chapter of my life, I can't help but wonder what's next? travel the world like Davos? Collect unemployment checks like AJ? Sex Marathons like Chad and Katie? Luxury cars like Andrea and Kwuing? Calories Counts like KKK? (Krazy Kalories Kristine) Collect cats like Mom? Ohh the world is at my feet!!!!

P.S. I would like to publicly apologize to my wife for yelling at her the other night, baby I love you, and I will learn to channel my anger better. But remember, "The lord whips those that he loves" I'm not saying I'm going to whip you, I'm was just saying, that I love you, even when I'm frustrated with you, like that time you wanted me to pose naked so you could expose my beautiful body to the Internet, not that I don't think I have a hot body, you saw that time that Kristine came over and I was half naked, and she kept giving the look, I know I know, totally inappropriate, since she's your sister and all, and I suspect that whole "hate brown people" thing is a front, I think deep inside she has a thing for the three shades down meat, I mean, come on, look her, she's tan, she tries really hard to be like us, I wonder if she forces AJ to tan too, so he can look hot like Jose and the other gardeners that come to the house.....uhmm...I wonder.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

















DOHH!!!


After a few months of hiatus, I have decided to come out of hybernation and start blog again, and boy, I lot happen in past few months eesshhh!

Here is a quick summary:

Katie is Prego, 3 down, 9 to go.
Chad killed a little defenseless deer on mad dash to get to Idaho.
Spencer is 3, or so they claim.
Some very compromising pictures surfaced on the internet of Amy Peeclock, Deahana, and Anjela. Google it.
Kristy pass her "test" and she's keeping her promise of not dumping AJ when she becomes the trainer of the stars, she still working on her book "El Gato Loco" The Rise an Fall of the brown people in Utah by Kristy McGuire.
Cindy is off to "College" if you consider SUU a college.
Jill has become a famous dancer.
The Lanes have cut down their hang out time with us by 75%, I still don't know why, I think has something to do with the Crosses.
Davos bought a couple of bikes..ohh is good to be rich.
Kuen is vacationing for 7th time this year.
Scott wants' two more kids.
Jimmy is putting sprinklers on his yard, but has refused myself and Juan's help, which is very strange.
AJ gained 17 Lbs, I could be wrong on that, cause the Radio adds a few.
Mom turn back the clock and look 27 years younger.
E-rate hasn't pay yet.
I have lost more hair.
Ang is getting ready to be Prego with Andrews little brother.
Andrew has gotten cuter.
Hailee has gotten cuter.
There is a meteor heading to earth, it supposed to hit Window Rock, AZ by Nov of 2008, they estimate that 92% of the Navajo Nation will be destroyed, and tribal government have advised local officials to pay Onsat.


So, there, I had to start my blog somewhere.

So, start linking me up, or I will creepy in your back yard and steal your lawn mower.

Franco.

*El Gato Loco is register mark of the CABPA, Coalition for the Advancement of Brown People in America.